Kiersten White’s talking Dark Days of Literature!!

Look, it’s Kiersten White (author of super fab Paranormalcy series!!) and she’s in the HOUSE talking Dark Days!! What’s Dark Days you ask? Just the coolest book tour ever to roll through anytown. Check it out here and here.

 

 

In celebration of the HarperTeen Dark Days tour, I’ve come up with some Dark Days of Literature—things that, were they to have happened, would be so dark it’s almost not worth thinking about.

1. Frodo keeps the ring. He uses it to become the All Powerful Overlord of the Shire, forcing all of the hobbits into slavery to support his pipeweed habit.

Also, everyone dies of lung cancer.

2. Lucy, Peter, Susan, and Edmund enter the wardrobe. It is just a wardrobe. Thus starts the most boring summer in the history of  summers, and they all become mathematicians.

3. Instead of receiving an owl-delivered invitation at age eleven, Harry gets a pigeon. It’s all downhill from there.

4. Like all of my teenage diaries, Mia’s Princess Diary starts with a New Year’s resolution to write every day. And ends two days
later.

5. Edward fails to resist the urge to kill Bella that day in Biology. The Twilight series is much, much, much shorter. Jacob never gets to take his shirt off.

6. Everyone in Panem is well-fed; the Moderately Peckish Games lack tension.

7. Milo doesn’t even make it past the Phantom Tollbooth before the toy car’s battery dies. He goes back to being bored.

8. Alice mistakenly falls down a robot hole rather than a rabbit hole, and short-circuits the Cyborg Mad Hatter with tea.

9. Sherlock Holmes gives up detective work and instead writes Murder Mystery Party Games full-time. It’s always the maid.

10. And finally, in what would be this author’s personal Dark Day, the internet breaks, and I am forced to actually be productive.

Or, you know, take a nap.

—-

We don’t even want to think about #1, #3, #5 or #6 (shivers). Hey, check out the video for the Dark Days tour and prepare yourself, because you’re gonna want to go!!

Here are the tour dates, are they rolling through your town? Sadly, they’re not coming through Texas. We’ll try and not hold that against HarperTeen (haha).

Wednesday, October 12th
7:00 PM
Barnes & Noble
19401 Alderwood Mall Parkway
*Lynnwood, WA*
with Claudia Gray, Kiersten White, Amy Garvey, and Anna Carey

Thursday, October 13th
7:00 PM
Barnes & Noble
7881 Edinger Avenue
*Huntington Beach, CA*
with Claudia Gray, Kiersten White, Amy Garvey, and Anna Carey

Friday, October 14th
7:00 PM
Tattered Cover
9315 Dorchester Street
*Highlands Ranch, CO*
with Claudia Gray, Kiersten White, Amy Garvey, and Jocelyn Davies

Saturday, October 15th
1:00 PM
Barnes & Noble
2999 Pearl Street
*Boulder, CO*
with Claudia Gray, Kiersten White, Amy Garvey, and Jocelyn Davies

Sunday, October 16th
2:00 PM
Anderson’s
123 West Jefferson
*Naperville, IL*
with Claudia Gray, Kiersten White, Amy Garvey, and Jocelyn Davies

4 Responses to “Kiersten White’s talking Dark Days of Literature!!”

  1. Nancy Tuuling says:

    LOL, and you forgot the DARKEST DAY EVER – Evie skips off into the sunset with Reth and leaves Lend to rot in IPCA jail.

  2. Josin says:

    I think the more likely one with Sherlock would be that Watson arrives at 221b Baker Street one morning to find the good detective dead of a morphine overdose.

  3. That was so great! My favorite was Edward killed Bella in biology that first day! That would kinda suck!

  4. capillya says:

    Oh my goodness. Kiersten White is so hilarious. I bet she bleeds jokes and giggles. I enjoyed Paranormalcy and I’m looking forward to reading Supernaturally!

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